Jim Morrison once said, “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself”. Friendship is a magnificent part of human civilization. Friends walk the journey with us in our lives through all our trials and tribulations; victories and celebrations; and devastations and despairs. Without friends to share our experiences, life would be a lonely existence.

Friendhips and connectivity have been shown in studies to be associated with greater happiness, deeper fulfillment as well as increased longevity. Loneliness on the contrary has been proven to be as a high a risk factor for heart disease, as cigrarette smoking and obesity.

In these days of increasing busyness and reduced leisure time, friendships can suffer. Certain groups of individuals are at a higher risk of isolation, loneliness and depression, and as a result, lose touch with their friendship circle. Some of these include: Loss of a spouse or partner; living alone; unemployment; poor health, aging and disability; loss of mobility and transportation; and adverse social situations such as bankruptcy or divorce. Professions where individuals work in an isolated environment with no regular interaction with colleagues or friends are also at risk of isolation.

Friendships take time to cultivate, nurture and maintain. Women tend to do this quite naturally and spontaneously, and their activities are often centred around friendship circles. For men however, friendships tend to revolve more around an activity, and the friendship develops as an adjunct to that activity rather than for the purpose of the friendship. Often men who in the busiest time of their lives with career and children of school age can let friendships slip away. These friendships maybe from school, a sporting club or even the pub. With the absence of a support network, all it takes is for one “pillar of the foundation” to crack, and the whole individual comes crumbling down. The result is isolation, loneliness, depression, drinking, drugs and even the possibility of suicide.

A sturdy individual foundation requires the robust pillars of a healthy body, strong self-esteem, and a “tribe” that supports the ups and downs that are all part of human existence. The nature of human existence is that problems will occur, despite the best choices and with the utmost clarity of thinking. At these times, it is important for us to have the humility to accept that we are all inter-dependent entities.

Every aspect of existence rests upon the existence of another. Even the very bacteria and parasites that exist within our gastrointestinal tract, which can make us extremely ill, are actually responsible for keeping us in good health. Knowing this as an experiential fact leaves no room in our being for arrogance, hatred, or over confidence. We need each other and we need friendships.

An Australian Aboriginal quote says, “We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home”.

Men in particular, need to be assisted to connect with other men. The great Aussie tradition of looking out for “ya mates” is one that needs to be nurtured. In years gone by, men learned to look out for each other in the war years and the times of the great depression. Tough times brought people together. In the modern age, comforts are in abundance but mateship has become a rare commodity. Men in fact have become confused about their role in society and are frequently torn between the demands of their profession, their children, and their partners, leaving precious little time for mateship.

Aristotle stated, “Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” As a society it is time for us to place friendships over finances; mateship over Maserati’s; and love over loneliness! The choice is in our hands!