I recently came across a situation in which a couple had worked themselves into a catatonic state of tension because of a conflict of career choice with their son. Their son was an immensely talented artist and musician. He was naturally creative and shone in all this areas. But he was academically gifted also and had the grades to get into medical school, the dream of every Indian parent! His parents wanted him to do medicine but he wanted to pursue music. The child had no interest whatsoever in heading down the science route but felt pressured to try please his parents.

They asked me to speak to the child to make a “sensible” decision and become a doctor. They wanted me to point out all the reasons why medicine would be a better path than music. I agreed to speak to the boy, but after speaking to him impartially for 10 minutes, I could see that his passion lay in music and that medicine would have been a wasted career for him. It simply would not have satisfied his soul.

It’s all well and good to make sensible decisions, but one has to look fundamentally at the individual in front of you without any preconceived ideas. Accepting “what is” will enable you to flow with life’s mysterious ways. Trying to force what may never be is a recipe for creating tension, conflict and unhappiness.

The same applies to any relationship. The minute you can stop saying, “if only you were like this or like that” and start saying “i accept you exactly as you are”, is when you will see life and relationships in a different way.

Think of one person in your life who you are trying to change who you can now accept exactly as they are. Make the choice and notice the difference.

In Health and Wellness

Ranjit